off the cuff

Good morning all! Please sit back and enjoy this unedited, unimportant, spontaneous post. It’s my first time posting without putting any thought into it whatsoever, so please bear with me. I don’t really know what I want to say today, other than that I’m super tired and that bottle of wine from last night is a back stabbing bitch. She was soooo sweet and nice to me last night lulling me in with her bodacious body and irrisistable fragrance, soothing my stress with every sip. And then this morning, it was a whole other story. I woke up late, to a slap in the face and a kick in the stomach, deceitful tramp she is… I’m done with her (for now)! DONE(after I finish her off tonight)!

Anyway I had my friend Xander over last night. I met him through work and we’ve become very good friends over the last year, despite a very rocky start. The first time we went for beers it ended with me slapping him in the face and telling him to never speak to me again. The evening had started well but took a turn for the worst when he started telling me how sexy I am and how it would be his dream come true to see me prance around his apartment wearing an anal plug complete with pony tail. Are you wondering where the hell that came from? SO WAS I! He went as far as to offer me money and that is when I tried to end the evening but he followed me out to the subway stop and proceeded to try to kiss me as we parted ways. I slapped him. Hard. Right in the face. I remember feeling really crappy on the subway ride home, feeling stupid for thinking he really wanted to be friends with me. That’s my problem, you see; for all my experience, I am naive. I always see the best in people and assume that intentions are always honest but we all know that isn’t alwyas true.

By now you’re probably wondering how Xander went from getting a slap in the face to sitting on my couch, so let me tell you… a few weeks after the ‘pony tail’ incident, he texted me to apologize. He told me that about an hour into our evening he began thinking of how nice it was to be out with a ‘woman like me’ and that he got nervous and completely lost control. He wasn’t pushy, and was fine if I never wanted to speak to him again, but really wanted to apologize and acknowledge that I didn’t deserve to be ambushed like that. I hadn’t expected an apology but what he said was heartfelt and I believed he was sorry and since then we’ve began building a friendship, free of inappropriate and demeaning propositions! I really do enjoy his company and he’s a great guy to have as a friend. He has helped me out when I’ve needed it, and is always a great listener when I need to vent or when I need advice. And, despite him making me feel so shitty about myself the first night we went out, he actually does a great job of making me feel better when I’m feeling down and out. Which is exactly what he did last night. I’ve been feeling so pathetic lately; I hate my purposeless job, I’m broke, my love life sucks, blah blah blah, and he just tells me how much he enjoys my company and what a great person I am and that he can’t wait to see ‘what I do with myself and where I go in life’. It’s nice to have a friend like that, someone rooting for me and who just wants to see me happy! Now, don’t get me wrong fellas, I know he probably still wants to stick it in me, and he would most likely go and get me a pony-tail anal plug at the drop of a hat, but I believe that guys and girls CAN be friends despite wanting to fuck each other and he has shown me over and over again as time goes by, that I can count on him and to me, that’s what counts. Besides, he has a girlfriend now, I honestly can’t say I’d hang out with him as much if he didn’t, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.